The Power of Body Language in Courtship, Part 2 ~ Jane Lee


Having problem sending the right signals towards the person you are courting? No problem. In this article, I will share with you how to utilise your A.S.S.E.T. to get your messages across more effectively.

Yes, you heard me right! I’m talking about your A.S.S.E.T.! Here’s what it is.

A – Appearance

Your appearance usually plays a crucial part in meeting someone at the first time. People will start to form an opinion based on your appearance within 4 seconds. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So, start with the way you dress. What is your appropriate dress for dating? Research said that a man will still put “good looks” in their no.1 list even they are already married.

Whether you like it or not, visual is important to a man. They unconsciously think that if a woman spends time on her appearance, it means she wants him to be attracted to her. You don’t need to look like Angelina Jolie or David Beckham, but you can highlight your sexual difference and looking more available and be more attractive to the opposite gender.

S – Smile

Laughing or smiling in courtship is used as a way of determining how successfully a couple is likely to bond in a relationship. Science has proved that the more you smile the more positive reactions others will give you. Women laugh at men they’re attracted to, and men are attracted to women who laugh at them. These explain why having a sense of humor is important for a man to attract a woman.

When a woman says, “He is a funny guy; we spent the whole night laughing together.” She usually means that she spent the night laughing and he spent the night making her laugh. From a man’s perspective, saying that a woman has a good sense of humor doesn’t mean she tells jokes; it means she laugh at his jokes. I think Tom Cruise is a good guy to mimic for smiling, the guy makes his eyes twinkle and seems like he is trying to pull the sides of his mouth up to his ears.

S – Stance

Standing with a correct posture can lead to bond in a relationship. Legs and feet body language is more difficult to control consciously or fake compare to others body language like arms, hands and face. Legs and feet can therefore provide good clues to feelings and moods.

For a man, open legs display masculinity and this shows that he is confidence. However, closed legs protect masculinity and lack of confidence or shy. For a woman, open legs shows she is open and dominant; closed or cross leg shows she is close, defensive attitude or deny any access to the male.

E – Eye Contact

Use eye contact to those you are attracted for, but you must make sure your eye contact makes others feel comfortable. Most of the men don’t know how to read women first gaze signal, therefore she usually repeat to send the signal 3 times before the average man pick up on it, 4 times for really slow man and 5 to 6 times for extremely slow man. When the man finally gets it, she will use the eyebrow flash, subtle eye widening gesture to tell him that the signal is for him.

T – Touch

When meeting someone of the opposite gender for the first time, it is handy to use the power of touch if you want to be memorable. Handshake is the fastest way to move to the touch stage. When a man shakes hand with a woman for the first time, extend your left arm, give a light 2 to 3 seconds touch their elbow or hand as you shake. Then repeat their name to confirm you heard it correctly. For women, lightly brushing or touching the shoulder of a man can impress him that you care about his health and appearance.

Today, we are confronted with romantic circumstances that our ancestors never encountered. In today’s multitasking society, we can easily meet new friends through internet, smartphones or improve our appearance with cosmetic or surgery, marry and remarry multiple times. The world is in the grip of a singles epidemic.

According to the research, in year 2020, 25% of all women in the western countries will be permanently single. In Australia, 28% of adults have never married. In America, the divorce rate is 63%.

Ladies and gentlemen, take your body language seriously. Unless you have an innate ability, or else you may have been missing most of the chance that the opposite sex has been trying to tell you. Those who are lucky in love understand that gestures and expressions are more important that what is said.

Remember to utilise your A.S.S.E.T. effectively to your advantage and have a fruitful relationship.

All the best!

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Jane Lee | Personal Branding Consultant • Trainer




T  +603 7717 4922

Jane Lee is the Personal Branding Consultant of BrandtalksAsia. For enquiries on how to create more successes with your Personal Brand, do not hesitate to contact her at

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